It has been a while since I updated this blog but its not because I'm dead. But being dead would be a good reason to leave the blog ill attended to. I mean, that would make this thing so hard to maintain! Its hard enough to be alive and get to it. Anyway, I'm alive and slooooooooowly improving so I'm grateful for that and Amanda says she is to.
I don't have time to write much now but a lot has happened in the last month so I plan to write more next time Amanda works. For now I just wanted people to know that I am alive and it looks like that will be the case for a good long while. But, life is still hard right now as I am sure it is for all of us in various ways. My dad once told me that life doesn't get less stressful, but our ability to deal with stress can and does improve. I never really liked the idea that overall my life wasn't going to get easier (and so far it hasn't). But lately I have begun to understand what he meant a little better.
I remember being really stressed about something when I was younger and my dad saying to me simply, "Son, some things matter and some things don't." Learning what matters and what doesn't has everything to do with our ability to cope with the stresses we face and yet be happy. I have found that the more I understand what really matters and what really doesn't, the happier I am regardless of the stress in my life. But ironically, it seems that figuring out what matters and what doesn't can't be done without a little stress. Maybe dad has some things figured out after all.
Thoughts of running away from it all or wallowing in the whys or wishing I didn't have to go through this don't stay in my mind for long, but they do enter from time to time. For this reason, your comments have always been a helpful and cherished part of this blog. If I could put to music how I have often felt through the last few months fighting the cancer bug I would, but I can't. However, the music video below was written by a guy who beat leukemia and this song is about his battle. It means a lot to me because it does describe very very well how I have felt.
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so good to hear an update! always remember there are many who care that are not in florida. glad to hear you are recovering and should make a full recovery? even though it may be slow, you are heading in the right direction. one of my counselors is dealing with cancer now as well. both of you are such an inspiration. hang in there! to my brother from another mutha!
ReplyDeleteray
Bryan,
ReplyDeleteLast night I had a dream that I was hanging out with Joe and we were calling you on the phone to make sure you were doing alright. Glad you posted again to confirm your status as a living member of society.
Hang in there.
Glad to hear that you are still alive!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep swimming Bryan...you have lots more lessons to teach.
ReplyDeleteALIVE is good, actually it's great! Glad to hear an update even if I am really late. I always enjoy reading what you have to post! I love and appreciate your example. This video was perfect for me to listen to, I might have to borrow it for my blog, hope you don't mind. I love the message!
ReplyDeleteHey Bryan and Amanda! All four of our kiddos are in bed and I was catching up on facebook when I saw your blog url thingy and here I am. I heard a while back from my friend, Mikkyn Smith (how do you know her!?) that you were sick with Leukemia and I about dropped my drawers!! So we've been praying for you as a family and put your name on the LA Temple prayer roll, etc. and I've just been constantly wondering how you are. I didn't know whether it was all taboo or what, so I'm so glad for your blog here. Thank you. We're gonna try to get to the Oct. mission reunion and it would fun if you guys were able to make it, too.
ReplyDeleteQuestion, is your leukemia, then, worse than another type of leukemia? and do they know why you got it? is it genetic or diet? or environmental or...what!? Can our kids get this? Or my husband or me???
Love you guys...you're in our prayers and your kiddos, too.
Jenna Livingston (Sister Conner)