Pregnant Old Man

I felt great for a week!! This was because for a few weeks I wasn't on any drugs at all. So after they worked their way out of my system, I did feel pretty normal for about a week. Then, unfortunately/fortunately, my friends from UPS delivered a new drug right to my door! Luckily this drug is not $4,500 per month like Gleevec was, instead it is $7,600 per month! Its called Tasigna (Nilotinib) and it is 50 times more agressive than Gleevec. Just two days before I went to see Dr. IKnowEverythingAboutCML over at the Moffitt Cancer Center, he was up at a yearly conference mingling with other players in the CML world. He put me on this newer drug based on some research just revealed at that conference, which proves that it works better on high risk CML patients like myself. I have been on it for a week now and feel like a pregnant, old man. I feel like I have perma shin splints/growing pains in all of my bones from the waist down and sometimes in my arms and scull. Random everday smells make me sick, I have serious hot flashes, headaches, lots of muscle pain, and at times I get this odd sensations where I can feel the blood pumping through my body. I just hope I can get to feeling better soon so I can get back to work! I love to get things done and pull off a sweet tile masterpeice! There are moments of feeling descent (like right now) and I use distraction to keep my mind off of it. Pray this drug will be the miracle we are looking for! Here's the study.

What is CML?
Many have asked what CML is exaclty and so I shall now lay before you "B Russ's definitive guide to CML". First, let us take a look at the development of blood as it happens in our bodies. Our bone marrow produces stem cells all the time. These stem cells divide, grow, and develop into the various components that make up our blood. The stems cells first turn into either a Myeloid or Lymphoid stem cell. We will focus on the Myeloid side since I have Chronic Myeloid Leukemia (still so strange and surreal to think that I have that). Stop a review the image for a moment before reading on.

Now, somewhere along the line, for reasons that remain a mystery, one of these stem cells went retarded as I put it (but to be correct I want you all to know that I have great love for the mentally challenged). By retarded, I mean that the DNA inside the cell mutated (thus making me one of the X-Men). The mutation is a distinctive translocation between Chromosomes 9 and 22 as illustrated to the left. This translocation produces the Philadelphia (Ph) Chromosome which in turn produces a protein called brc-abl. The Bcr-Abl protein acts like a switch that keeps my white-blood cell production in the “on” position. It tells the retarded cells to multiply like rabbits! So my bone marrow keeps making damaged white blood cells that, over time, crowd out healthy red blood cells and platelets, and would eventually make me dead if not stopped. Its me or them.

Enter Tasigna! Tasigna basically plugs the receptor site on the retarded white blood cells where the brc-abl protein would normally dock. When the brc-abl protein can't connect with the cell, the cell never gets the go ahead to divide and replicate. It eventually dies and the good ones take my body back. There you have it!

Bone Marrow Transplant
I have had a lot of questions about bone marrow transplants (BMT). A BMT is the only known "cure" for CML but there is a fair chance the trasplant would kill me. They say I am a good candidate and I would most likely do really well with one. But why try something that could kill me when managing the disease with these new drugs would allow me to eventually lead a long healthy life with little to no risk of killing me in the process? So right now there are no plans for a BMT. However, the option will always be there, but right now we are planning and hoping we never have to ride that pony. After a few years on Tasigna, give or take, there will be no evidence of cancer in my body but they have found that it will almost always reappear if the medication is stopped. So, technically I will always have CML but it will be controlled.

Some Good News
I just got back from the doctor and they stuck needles into me, a female nurse saw my butt again, I was shirtless, and got a little EKG action going on, etc. My blood looked pretty normal though and that is good cuz this is the first blood check since starting Tasigna. My blood counts being normal and me feeling like crap means it is probably working the way it aught to! I had to get the EKG because Tasigna has caused a heart condition called Prolonged QT in a minute number of people. Prolonged QT causes your heart to stop suddenly and CPR doesn't restart it. My awesome little nephew Luke actually died from it when he was 2 years old. Amanda and I have naturally been a little concerned about the possibility of me having the same condition but the EKG showed no signs of the condition and we are grateful!

Spread The Word
I have run into a few people lately who didn't know anything about me having cancer and a ton who knew but weren't aware of this blog. Please take a moment & put a link to this blog out on your facebook or tweet or whatever you do so anyone interested can check in if they want to know whats going on.

Thank You's Are In Disorder
It looks like we are finally on the way to recovery. I say we because everyone is loved by somebody, and illness affects all those who have any love for the person afflicted. There is still a long road to travel but the number of ways cancer has been a blessing to our family are too great to number allready, and we have yet to see what the future holds as hindsight reveals even more!

The love, help, prayers, and giving that have been poured upon us over the past few months is nothing short of humbly overwhelming! We have been doing our best to keep track of all that has been done for us and by whom it was done. We want to send out thank you's but wonder if we will ever be able to get to everyone! We know those who have donated or given in so many other ways didn't do it for praise or a thank you. But we, nonetheless, feel to express gratitude to at least the same degree as you felt to give. Thank you all from the bottom, top, right, left, and center of our hearts!

Love,
Bryan, Amanda, Makayla, Gavyn, Bryton, & Cayd

PS - I'll post an update in a couple of weeks.

Update for the week

Bryan was actually feeling a little better last week, not so many of the bone, leg and muscle aches. By Friday and Saturday he was pretty tired again though, feeling nauseous, having these crazy hot flashes, stomach burning, etc. The reason.....he had to stop his Gleevec at the end of November. Scary because this is supposed to be the drug that supresses the cancer forever and after only two weeks he had to quit. His blood counts got too low over the weekend, his platelets were down to 35, under 20 and you need a transfusion. His White Blood cells were down to 3, below 1.5 and you have to wear a mask everywhere and stay away from people, because you can catch all sorts of things and your body can not fight any of them. His local oncologist said to stop until we get to Moffitt Cancer Center this Thursday and let the specialists decide the next step. We are not worrying now, we'll just wait and see. It makes sense to us that they will just lower his current dose, his body is just too efficient..... He's so strong, and muscular and good looking, etc.

He is still tired and doesn't have much of an appetite, but overall is feeling a little more normal, so we are trying to just enjoy the little rest and are working on putting up Christmas decorations and catching up on some house stuff.

Grateful

I'm feeling so grateful for how much people have helped us this last month. As I am paying our bills for December and looking back over the past month I am overwhelmed by the kindnesses people have shown our family. Food, diapers, money, meals, babysitters, calls, cards, service, clothes, etc. the list seems to go on and I don't know how we could have gotten through this past month with out everyone's help. Thank You to all you special people, you know who you are.

One Step Forward, One Step Back

So we were really excited to head to the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville this Monday. We had been told to plan on 2-3 days and were hoping for more answers. We arrived after a 3 hour drive, having packed for the whole family and getting kids to their arranged places to stay for the next few days, (not an easy task). Our first appointment was with Patient Registration, we are having a pleasant conversation as we handed the receptionist our card to copy. She looks at our insurance card and says, "Now we aren't providers for this type of insurance, we are contracted with them, but it will be considered out of network." We both froze and said, "What????" When I had scheduled this appointment over 2 weeks prior, my first questions had been about being in-network, etc. They had assured me after asking some specifics about our card and coverage. So, this was devastating. She got her supervisior, I was trying to hold back tears. After some discussion and a phone call to BC/BS, it was confirmed that they would be out of network and therefore we would have to meet a $25,000 deductible to have our insurance pay anything. We finally decided to at least see the first doctor and get a second opinion and get some questions answered and then have to move on to another cancer center. AGHHHHH!!!!

On their behalf, they were truly sorry and super sweet and accomodating, but can't change the insurance mess.

We headed up to the appointment and poor Bryan's legs and back were hurting so badly he went into one of their provided "quiet areas" to lay down and wait to be called back. A kind lady who was there with her husband had some sweet words of comfort for he and I. As we got called back, Bryan leaned to give her a hug and broke down. The pain and stress of the day came out, because a sweet stranger cared.

The doctor was wonderful. He spent over an hour with us, explaining and answering numerous questions. We felt like we understand CML better as well as know what we do next...go to an in-network cancer center and meet with the transplant center to talk about donor matching, etc. We "tough" out the side effects for three months and then they do more testing to see how Bryan's body is responding to the treatment.

We felt better after talking to the doctor, like the trip wasn't a complete waste. We took advantage of a night without kids and went and saw a movie, our first date in months! It was nice not to think about cancer for a few hours. Our sweet friends let us stay with them and we enjoyed a good visit, then headed back home today for another doctor visit and blood work. Now we wait to see when we can get into the next cancer center, hopefully it won't be too long of a wait.

A good side note is that Bryan was able to come off of the first Chemo pills, the Hydrea, on Friday because his blood counts were looking normal. Now we just pray they don't go too low, where we have to worry about him getting other infections.

As Thanksgiving approaches, we are reminded of the many blessings in our life. CML seems to be a  better kind of cancer. The future looks relatively hopeful. We have been blessed by so many prayers, well wishes, gifts and help. Thank you to everyone who continues to remember our family. We still don't know when Bryan can return to work, he is just too exhausted and when he pushes himself at all he pays for it in greater pains. I have been able to pick up a few shifts at the hospital, we are grateful I had a job and didn't have to start completely from scratch there. We truly feel blessed because of the network of family and friends. On the days when it feels like the world is crumbling at my feet, I feel the Savior's strength and the sustaining power of others holding me together.

Have a Happy Thanksgivng and Count Your Many Blessings and Let your Loved Ones Know how Precious they really are to you! You have been a life saver to us, thank you!!!!

Good News & Fun Cancer Drugs!

I go to the doctor a couple times a week to get a CBC (Complete Blood Count). I have brought Bryton twice because he thinks it is cool to see blood squirt out of my arm. I am proud of him. Anyway My CBC came back pretty much normal for the first time!!! That means I am out of the crisis phase and we can begin working on the remission thing!!!! This is a big milestone! Have a party!

I have mentioned a lot about the drugs I take. Well, here they are. In my hand you you will first see my morning hit. The white pill is called Allopurinal 300mg. It helps get the dead cellular debrit out of my blood. There is a slaughter going in in my veins and we are winning. Allopurinal is like the guys who would clean all the dead bodies up off the battle field and throw them in the river. Allo-P (as they call it in the streets) helps the dead blood cells, etc make it to my pee stream. Moving on.
Next we have Hydroxyurea. This pill is the "Shock and Awe" of the battle or one form of what we have all heard of as Chemotherapy. This is the generic. The name brand ones they gave me in the hospital were colored way prettier. They looked so cool, I used to stare at them for a bit before I put'em down. And that is the morning intake.
In the evening you can see we have no Allo-P, but we have added a couple of new friends: Gleevec and Prilosec Plus another Hydrea (I used to take 10 hydrea per day). Gleevec is the new drug that came out about 10 years ago that is saving so many people with CML. It's what they call a miracle drug. Before Gleevec, people in my situation were not likely to make it past 5 years. Gleevec is also considered Chemo and it fuels the fire within me! But the thing that makes me super grateful about it is this: If I had gotten CML when I was a teenager I probably wouldn't be alive right now. That means my cool little kids wouldn't be here either and Amanda would have married a total geek for sure. As mentioned in the last post it is also 9.2 times more expensive than gold at $132.50 per pill. It makes people alive but kills their wallets. Fair trade I think. There is a fair chance it won't work for me and if it does we don't know what the side effects will be long or short term. So far, . . . its too early to tell so cross your fingers please.
Last is my new favorite pill called Prilocec. It is no stranger to some. I'm not sure what it does exactly and I don't care a whole lot, because all I know is that it puts out the fire left over from the shock and awe and the napalm (Gleevec). Today I experienced very little burn compared to the previous two days and I hope it was the Prilosec. we will experiment to make sure that is what it was.
Okay, so that's my drugs! I hope it was as enjoyable as it was educational for everyone!

Fire Guts!!!

I have started on a new chemo type drug that I will probably be on for years if not the rest of my long life. So far, it is no fun . . . at all. Right now I am feeling the worst since I got into all this and it was the same last night. There are a lot of side effects from all these drugs but the worst for me over all has been how I feel in my innards!! My whole abdominal cavity burns! It feels like I lit up a small box of matches and swallowed them but they didn't go out. In addition, my spleen (which is getting smaller they say!) is still far bigger than it ought to be and it gets nudged and bumped by the kids, etc. all the time. So, my gut is always inflamed and swollen and feels like I've been punched in the stomach! Throw in a bit of nausia and you have what I am feeling physically! (PS - Going by weight, the new drug I'm on is 9.2 times more expensive than gold for a total of $132.50 per pill! in a way,that's a cool thought.)
Distraction is the best way I've found of dealing with it so far (good thing I have ADD!), but the more it hurts the harder it is to ignore! The doctor has given me 2 drugs to help with it but neither impacts the pain at all! Now, understand that for around 70% of the day, the burning is there but its mild and not too bad. Over the last two days since I have added this new pill to my drug mix, it has been awful in the late afternoon and evenings. It shouldn't be long before I am off the first type of chemo I take and we'll see what happens then. It makes some sense that I will feel better on one type of chemo than I do on two kinds. But, I am learning not to rely on what makes sense with this stuff. It used to make sense to me that I wouldn't get Leukemia either, since it doesn't run in my family, I'm 32 and the type of person who almost never gets sick!
The ambiguity of things can get to me sometimes also. The question mark we all have on our life expectancy seems bigger than it used to be. Will this drug work? Will I be alive but miserable on it? How long will it work if it does? what will my quality of life be now? The future seems bright in my eyes but more mystical than it was before. I just figure if I focus on the things I live for (and make sure I'm living for the right things) that big'ol question mark will stay far enough off that I have to squint to see it!
Couple funny stories and then I have to go to bed. I am borderline narcaleptic these days.
We like to eat as a family as much as possible and for the last few weeks we haven't done that as much as we used to. Tonight we had a nice little family Sunday dinner and the food looked awesome but I didn't feel like the food looked, and I didn't want to eat it even though it did call for me! The kids asked what was wrong with me and Amanda told them that the medicine daddy takes doesn't make him feel very good, etc. The kids are smart and they understood. Then Gavyn pipes up and says, "I just like the part that your not dead!" We all laughed and agreed vehemently!
The other night during prayers I mentioned that we were thankful daddy had cancer. Gratitude for the trials of life and the inevitable blessings they bring is a new concept for the kids. Makayla (our 7 year old) interupts in the middle of the prayer sure that daddy made a mistake. I stopped for a moment and listened as she whispered, "dad, you said grateful for having cancer!" Amanda and I both responded in the afirmative. Thinking we must have misunderstood her she said it again. Her tone seemed to indicate that we were either crazy or had figuratively put the milk where the cereal goes. we told her we'd explain afterwards and finished the prayer. Ironically, the story itself is an illustration of the big-little things that we gain from such trials. If my daughter learns not to be bitter with God or anyone else for the trials she will inevitably face; If she learns to be grateful in the face of tradgedy, then maybe that alone will make having cancer worth it. We have a deeply sacred and powerful responsibility as parents to care for, love, and teach our children. Thank goodness our Father in Heaven gives us things like cancer to help us fulfill that obligation!

Chemo and Me - A Love/Hate Relationship

I have been on a pill form of chemotherapy since the day I found out I had the Leukemia bug. Chemotherapy is not what I thought it would be. I always pictured losing my hair and throwing up all the time. This is often the case but not all chemo is the same I have found. Chemotherapy is pretty much just a blanket term for any chemical treatment of disease.

     Chemotherapy - the treatment of disease by means of chemicals that have a specific toxic effect upon the disease-producing microorganisms or that selectively destroy cancerous tissue (Dictionary.com)

For me, the love part of chemo is simply that it keeps me from being dead. I like that part man, I really do! But aside from the staying alive part, I am pretty much a hater.
 

With my chemo I don't lose my hair which, at least for me, was the one thing I was looking forward to. Pretty much everything else I ever knew about chemo has come true plus a bunch of little things that I personally wasn't aware of.

Let's take my guts for example, all of them, my entire abdominal cavity, burns all the time. Its not literally like fire but more like really bad heart burn in your whole guts! Malox, Protonix, the little purple pill and all kinds of other drugs don't do squat for it. Distraction is the only thing that helps. 

Feeling tired and weak all the time is because of the chemo killing red blood cells along with the cancerous and normal white blood cells. This is compounded with what they call cellular debri from the mass genocide of some 200,000 points off of my white blood cell count (thats millions and millions of slaughtered cancer cells! GET BACK!!)


Mouth sores are something I wasn't aware of but have discovered they are all too real. The above chemo definition says it selectively destroys cancerous tissue, but more accurately it selectively destroys tissue. Cells that multiply fast in this case. Mouth cells divide real fast (like blood cells do) and so when I brush my teeth, my gums bleed. I mean bleed! At the base of every tooth there is jacked skin all the way around each and every tooth! If I brush without toothpaste it tastes like I took a shot of A- (my blood type). It looks like I have gingivitis but only right after I brush. I don't really notice it the rest of the day because the bleeding isn't caused by infection or neglect but my selective tissue destruction! Now, the little sores all over my tongue constantly make themselves known throughout the day!

My joints ache. When people ask me how I feel I usually tell them I feel like a really cool old, old man. When old guys describe how they feel I relate. I'm tired, I ache all the time, and I don't have the energy I used to (now if only I would start losing my hair). It is appropriate that my main hobby over the last four years has been raising bonsai trees. You have to have your chi right if you are going to win a fight with cancer. 

As for throwing up all the time, that is a reality but fortunately they have some sweet nausia meds these days. I started throwing up at the hospital and before I could finish the nurse was squirting something in my IV that ended my throwing up days right then and there! Grateful; I am just grateful for drugs! 

Next is the spleen. Mine is around 5 times its normal size and the chemo made it swell a bit more. So, if I have eaten well (Luckily, I don't usually feel like eating at all!) and I yawn It feels like I got hit in the stomach. When the kids do get me in the gut (in a way that used to not really be noticeable) it feels like I got kicked in the stomach . . . twice. I have discovered something about that horrible ache that lingers for a while after you get hit in the stomach. it is your spleen that causes that feeling. I have to be careful with my spleen getting hit says the doctor, because if it ruptures then I would likely die of internal bleeding before I got to the hospital. It will take 6 months to a year to go back to normal so if you see me around in the near future don't play.

Chemo has jacked my sleep habits way up! I used to be the kind of person who hit the pillow and was out in seconds and could easily sleep for 12 or 14 hours if allowed to. Now I lay there for a while and have freaking weird, detailed dreams. Some of them are cool (like I had a little helicoptor in one that was so awesome! I could do things in it you can't do in real life like fly into buildings, etc. Then one where I could kick my feet so fast and strong in the water that I planed out on my belly like a boat and I could catch speed boats and stuff and I didn't get tired doing it.) most of them are horrific dreams though and I don't even want to recount or think of them ever again. I get up to pee like 500 times a night for some reason (old man) and my body pops and cracks all the way to the thrown. there are other little pains and things that guys would want to hear but they aren't approproate for the general blogging audience. 

Basically, I am tired, I feel weak and my guts burn all the time and I basically feel creepy inside all the time. Plus I don't even get to lose my hair. But after all this and I am assured more to come, the truth about suffering is this: God doesn't look down and say, "Ooooo! Cancer, ouch! That is gonna stink!" He cries when I cry and laughs with me, He hurts with me. Even though Jesus didn't have Leukemia, somehow, in a way we won't understand until the next life He knows not only what it is like to have this disease, He knows what its like to be a husband and father of four in 2009 who can't work in his trade as a tile contractor for a bit. He knows what it is like to be me! And more than that, He, unlike any other being you will ever meet, knows exactly what it is like to be you. When no one understands what you are going through, He does. When you can't stand any longer, He can stand and carry you. He has a body. I know this because He was resurected and showed himself to many afterwards to prove it. And because of him and only Him you and I will be resurrected also and cancer will not be a part of my resurrected body. At the last day He will not shake our hands but will embrace us in a way we have never experienced before. We won't hurt, we will finally find rest and the Lord will say, "Well done thou good and faithful servant!" I can only imagine. 

But for me, that time is a long way off. There is more He wants me to do here on earth. I don't know why cancer was in the cards for me but as surprised as I was to find out, it was no surprise to the Lord. I only hope I can learn what he wants me to learn through this and do what he wants me to do with the experience. I pray that my family and our fatih will be stronger because of this and our power to influence for good magnified. I hope I can at least be as grand a friend as so many of you have been to me. 

Bad Day - This post is uncut and random. I'm just getting it out!

I have struggled as to whether I should do a post about a bad day but this is the reality of my situation sometimes I guess and maybe it will be good for me to get it out. since the moment I found out, I wanted to be an inspiration to others and a strength to others as they see me go through hell with a smile on. I wanted to be one of those people you hear about going through an overwhelming trial with this stellar attitude. But the truth is, even for those people, that parts of what we have to face really suck! I have learned today that our greatest strength can be found in our moments of greatest weakness. Here is my moment.

I really haven't had what I would call a bad day yet. I have felt bad physically but emotionally I have been super upbeat and happy. In fact I have been more grateful and filled with more joy and gratitude for the last week and a half than I have been in my whole life!! Today though has been quite a different story and I don't really know what is so different about today. I started feeling this way after they drew my blood this morning and I spoke with the doctor for a moment. He has done a great job of being positive. He only tells me the good stuff and avoids the negative even when I ask him straight questions. This is admirable but it is starting to frustrate me a lot! I read what the nurses in the hospital gave me about my type of Leukemia, Gleevac, chemotherapy, etc and it has all kinds of realities in it. I admire what the doctor is doing by being so focused on the good but I want it undiluted. Telling me the bad things that could happen does not depress me but keeping it from me is frustrating the crap out of me!! Tell me the cold hard reality; the good, the bad, and the ugly!! knowing the reality brings out the fight in me and gives me something to beat. I am a passionate person. I need a target! I need something to overcome!!! Give me a face for this thing other than my own!! Wow, in writing that I see that overcoming myself is probably the best solution.

I have never been what one might consider a rebellious person. I never snuck out as a kid or teenager, I have still never drank alcohol, I never once skipped school, etc. I was a bit crazy sometimes but not a rebel. I am finding with me though that the rebel comes out for the underdog. The one who has to beat the odds that are stacked against him. Don't tell me a thing cannot be done when I beleive it can be!! I will show you it can be done! My attitude becomes, "just watch me!"

I have felt pinned up today. I want to mow my lawn and get back to work!! I want to go running or build something!! The Bible warns against idleness and I can see why! It is depressing! A person needs a sense of accomplishment to remain up beat!

I have felt like a whiner today at times and I am so anti whiner that I am getting annoyed with my own whining!! Its a downward spiral. Moving on.

The future is so hard to plan right now!! I know I'm gonna live but what is life gonna be like for me, for my family, etc? what am I actually dealing with here? I guess the reality is that none of us know the future so an ambiguous future was the case before I found out I had leukemia as much as it is now. none of us know if we'll die in a car wreck tomorrow. We all face that everyday. I have heard it said that faith is knowing the good will come of whatever happens to us. I know that is true.

I am starting to feel better now. I'm like a woman these days; anemic, emotional, and don't need solutions, I just need to talk. Oooo, I think I am starting to feel better!

Well, if you have read to this point I hope it has been theraputic for you as it has been for me. The future is bright, I truly believe that. Tomorrow we see the doctor in the morning and sometime tomorrow we will have a more technical update as to what's up with the cancer. Stay tuned! We still need to go up to the Mayo clinic for a couple days and meet with the CML experts, and 500 other things. Thank the good Lord I married Amanda!! Anyone who knows her knows that convincing her to marry me was the most hooked up sale of my eternal life! Make lots of comments on this blog and let us know what you want to know. Lastly, the support you have all shown so far is inspiring, humbling, and enabling to say the least. I will never be able to thank you all enough. With so many people struggling these days, I never dreamed I would be on this end of service. I only hope I can use my life to give back to others what I have gained from the people in my life!

Thank you for caring about our family

I am one of Bryan's sisters and will be one of the authors to this blog. We will put updates here as often as there is an update to give. I am so glad we finally got this blog pulled together. So many people have been very concerned Bryan and his family. So many people have asked how they can help. So many people have already helped so much. We all want updates as to what is going on. The most recent good news is that Bryan is leaving the hospital today. His WBC count is at 89K (normal is still around 7K). He is still going to have to go up to the hospital everyday to get blood work done and they don't have all the answers yet, but he will get to be home with his family again. He is so excited to be around the kids again. (When we were watering my plants today. Bryton told me that his dad has better plants than me. I had to agree.)

Bryan and Amanda have been very hesitant to post ways for people to give financial support. It is hard for them ask for help. I am glad we convinced them to let us post it here on this blog. What they don't realize is that many many people want to help. Some people are too far away to help in other ways. They have many loved ones all over the country. Even $1 dollar from all of those who can would add up to quit a bit. The financial burdens they face are great. Luckily, he does have insurance but they have to meet the very high deductible now and again in January. Amanda is going to try and get on the schedule to work a couple nights a week at the hospital. Bryan was determined to try to get back to tiling tomorrow but the doctor said that he needs to rest for the next couple of weeks and we will go from there.

We love you Bryan!!

How Did You Know????

Many have been asking what made us go to the doctor.

There are lots of signs looking back, but what put us over the edge was discovering a lump in Bryan's belly. We had a case of food poisoning or stomach flu and Bryan felt something. At first, we thought it was cramping, poop, or something normal. After he was feeling better, the lump remained and was big, from his left side ribs down to his belly button. Then, we tried to decide where to go to get him evaluated...ER, urgent care or trying to set up a regular check up. Bryan was busy at work for a week, so we put it off. Then on Monday, October 26th, our plans were cancelled (Thanks for not opening your house for Bryan to work that day Brooks) and we decided to go on to an urgent care.

Once at Urgent Care, the Nurses took blood. After the first samples were taken, a nurse came back and said that the machine had put up this strange flag she had never seen and said it couldn't read the sample so she needed to re-draw the blood. She did and the same flag came up, so they said they needed to send off the blood to Orlando or Tampa, but it should be back in 30 to 45 minutes. The doctor felt the lump and said she believed it was a severely enlarged spleen, so lets wait on the blood. It could be any number of things, infections, etc. Well, after an hour or so of waiting for the blood, the doctor said why don't you go get some lunch and check back, which we did and it was still not back. We were about to head on home and check back later, when Bryan ran back in one last time to make sure and they had just gotten the results. We went back in the room to wait for the doctor. She came back and said that he had leukemia. She told us that his WBC (white blood cells) were 241,000 and that normal was 5-10,000. She said nothing else causes numbers like this and it's not easy to hear, but we needed to get him in the hospital right now and get chemo started today. So basically the doctor told us the good news was that the lump was not cancer, it was an enlarged spleen but the bad news was that the spleen was enlarged because of cancer!

Looking back, Bryan had lost 30 lbs, since June. We thought it was from a summer of door-to-door selling and drinking fruit smoothies in the morning. In fact, a few weeks before figuring out what was really going on, Bryan was amazed that he could see his abs when he flexed in his bathroom mirror. He would brag to me about how with just some walking and a fruit smoothie he was looking better than ever. He later admitted, "I thought I was blessed with sweet genetics, but no, it was just cancer!" Bryan was so tired he was falling asleep at work, he almost fell off the bucket he was sitting on while tiling a shower because he started knodding off. So he decided to lay down on the concrete floor for a "power nap" and woke up three hours later. He was always tired, but we have four kids. Bryan had been getting a lot of little sores on his forearms and lower legs that wouldn't heal, but maybe it was early symptoms of diabetes. Then just recently he discovered a few massive bruises and had no idea where they came from. Classic signs of cancer are unexplained weight loss, sores that don't heal, unusual bruising, fatigue, etc. at the time we didn't know the classic signs of cancer. Besides, cancer only happens to other people right?

Whatever questions you may have can be left in the comments. That way we'll know what ya'll want to know in future posts. Your prayers and encouragement are no small blessing and we thank you all deeply.