I'm Not Dead

It has been a while since I updated this blog but its not because I'm dead. But being dead would be a good reason to leave the blog ill attended to. I mean, that would make this thing so hard to maintain! Its hard enough to be alive and get to it. Anyway, I'm alive and slooooooooowly improving so I'm grateful for that and Amanda says she is to.

I don't have time to write much now but a lot has happened in the last month so I plan to write more next time Amanda works. For now I just wanted people to know that I am alive and it looks like that will be the case for a good long while. But, life is still hard right now as I am sure it is for all of us in various ways. My dad once told me that life doesn't get less stressful, but our ability to deal with stress can and does improve. I never really liked the idea that overall my life wasn't going to get easier (and so far it hasn't). But lately I have begun to understand what he meant a little better.

I remember being really stressed about something when I was younger and my dad saying to me simply, "Son, some things matter and some things don't." Learning what matters and what doesn't has everything to do with our ability to cope with the stresses we face and yet be happy. I have found that the more I understand what really matters and what really doesn't, the happier I am regardless of the stress in my life. But ironically, it seems that figuring out what matters and what doesn't can't be done without a little stress. Maybe dad has some things figured out after all.

Thoughts of running away from it all or wallowing in the whys or wishing I didn't have to go through this don't stay in my mind for long, but they do enter from time to time. For this reason, your comments have always been a helpful and cherished part of this blog. If I could put to music how I have often felt through the last few months fighting the cancer bug I would, but I can't. However, the music video below was written by a guy who beat leukemia and this song is about his battle. It means a lot to me because it does describe very very well how I have felt.